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I’ve been working on cultivating self-awareness to improve my emotional intelligence and have noticed some fascinating insights about the flow of energy within me,how it grows and affects my physical state. To better understand this, I’ve tried breaking down the journey of energy as it transforms into one emotion or another.

A little disclaimer here, I am not an expert and this is 100% based on personal experience.

Before we dive in, it’s worth mentioning that self-development is a demanding journey. If you’re on this path, (and even if you are not) I hope you can give yourself the patience you would extend to a child. Trusting the process and persisting — no matter how many times I’ve “fallen” — has yielded significant progress for me.

I think I began my focused pursuit of emotional intelligence about five years ago, in 2019, though, in reality, it’s been a lifelong journey of learning to manage emotions. I’ve always been fascinated by how emotions can influence our days, relationships, and even our lives. Having struggled with depression and overwhelming emotions in the past, I’ve longed to overcome.even slightly, these sometimes debilitating feelings.

A lot of articles I read about emotional management would just tell me to breathe, but I’ve spent five years forgetting to breathe until it’s too late! LOL

Through conscious awareness, I began to notice how my energy flows during different emotional states. It usually starts with a random thought, often amid a stream of other thoughts, and then, my mind latches onto one. Next, my heart picks it up, and I become emotionally involved. There may be some intermediary brain processes, involving certain stimulants that activate old neural pathways and send chemicals through my body, but that’s just my best guess. #NOTANEXPERT

Almost immediately, I feel the energy filling my heart. Then, my mind and heart engage in a sort of table tennis game, bouncing the thought back and forth, embellishing it with each pass. I start dissecting it, connecting it to similar instances either from my past or an imagined future. Piece by piece I add to the intensity and expand the thought.

If the thought carries a positive or light energy, it quickly translates into laughter, a chuckle, dancing, or singing. I’m able to work effectively, think creatively, nurture relationships, and solve problems.

However, if the thought brings negative, heavier emotions, my body reacts by shutting down. I become emotionally involved, sometimes getting angry, crying, or losing focus. I think we can all relate to that moment where we “just see black.” For me, it turns into an internal contest between my mind, heart, and body to see which can express the emotion most strongly. Heavier emotions tend to linger, while lighter ones are fleeting..

With this understanding, I began consciously harnessing this flow to my advantage. Recently, I’ve started deciding which feelings to keep in my heart and which to release. Some thoughts come, and I say “Hol’Up!” and deliberately stop them from reaching my heart. Others are sneakier, slipping into my heart before I notice but that’s okay. If the thought brings joy, I hold onto it, embodying it fully. If it’s negative, I push it out of my mind and release any accompanying emotion into my body through crying, ranting, writing, or another form of self-expression but I dont hold on to it. It send it off quickly.

I make a deliberate effort to fill my heart with positive thoughts, often fuelled by gratitude, love, forgiveness, or hope. Sometimes I go for a walk, take a drive, or talk with a loved one whatever it takes to keep the good energy flowing. That way, I don’t bury negative energy in my soul’s darkest corners. Instead, I acknowledge it, release it, and replace it with something better.

This shift has been possible through deliberate daily mindfulness practices that remind me to be grateful, loving, forgiving and to let go of things that no longer serve me, while maintaining hope in the future. I no longer compromise on my environment and remove anything that consistently provokes negative thoughts or feelings. I truly believe that lighter emotions, happiness, gratitude, and forgiveness generates a powerful magical creative energy, so I nourish these emotions every day. Deliberately.

“The most important decision you make is to be in a good mood.”

-Voltaire

In the past, when I felt sorrow, I would hold onto that energy in my heart, letting it consume me until I became that sadness. A mindful approach now allows me to acknowledge sadness, let my body cry (if necessary) without shame or judgment, and remind myself that I control my mind, heart, and body. I take action by doing something that feels good physically as I process the emotion. I tell myself, “I am not this emotion; I control this emotion.”

I’ve learned I can be a joyful person even while processing sad emotions. Sometimes, while shedding tears, I laugh or smile, appreciating the beauty of our human experience and our capacity to feel so deeply.

While it has been a long journey of trying and failing sometimes, I continue to put in a constant and repetitive effort at healing and doing the work. A deliberate effort. If this leads to greater emotional control and emotional intelligence, then its well worth it. I decided to write about this today, as an accountability check to hold myself accountable to these practices, forging them as a part of who I am.

One thing I’m realising is that the most difficult periods have propelled my most radical shifts in perception and personal growth- as long as I approach the crisis with a mindset that is progressive, fulfilling and fuelled by love.

“A memory without the emotional charge is called wisdom.” 

Dr. Joe Dispenza-

You would see I emphasised the word ‘deliberate(ly)’ a few time. It is because I believe we all need to consciously take charge of our life experiences. While it is challenging, the internet has an outstanding amount of free information needed for change. I am also very happy to share some resources that have helped me on my journey, just ask.

Today, I am grateful for all the challenges I have faced this year, and for the wisdom it has brought.

Love and Light
Sigillyn